What Role Do Destiny And Fate Play In Our Wellbeing?

We often think and talk about 'fate' and 'destiny' when we reflect on our lives, especially when there are decisions to be made. It was the American Philosopher William Irwin Thompson who wrote:

'If you do not create your destiny, you will have your fate inflicted upon you'.

Intuitively, that might appear to be right. There is the element of control that we possess to shape the contours of our lives, or at least those parts that we can realistically influence. Much of course, is beyond our control, and that is where our focus on destiny might falter somewhat.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary notes that destiny:

'implies something foreordained and often suggests a great or noble course or end'.

We might not think that something like suffering is foreordained, but it is. None of us escapes it as we navigate life. There is the suffering that comes from illness, poverty, war, unemployment, abuse, bereavement, relationship breakdowns, and so much more.

But is the actual form of our suffering foreordained? That is a much more difficult question and it raises issues of context and timing. For example, when we think of Holocaust Survivors, was their suffering pre-ordained from the beginning of time? Or did the specifics of it evolve as a result of historical chance and geographical reality?

And equally, what about the hope? Is it specifically foreordained, or does it gain its significance, or lack thereof, simply and specifically from the choices we make?

Our destiny is not just about hope. There is also love, connections (friendships/romantic relationships) and the strands of meaning intertwined throughout our existence. We are often too busy, or distracted, to notice that reality and to take it fully on board. It may only be when we find ourselves in extremis, that the multifaceted nature of our world becomes evident. We live in a beautiful world, yes, full of suffering, but also the overcoming of that suffering.

The Philosopher Seneca made a typically meaningful observation on the value of misfortune:

I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.

So, we do not know what we can become until we are tested. Our fate is to suffer, and to die; this is inescapable, but rather than being life-limiting, embracing the reality of life and our mortality is liberating. Seneca knew that. So too did Dr Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust Survivor and Founder of Logotherapy & Existential Analysis - sometimes known as the Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy.

The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity -even under the most difficult circumstances- to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal.

Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not.

(Note: Frankl uses the term 'man' in a generic sense, that is to refer to human beings in their totality).

Our lives are comprised of a series of opportunities and challenges that confront us on an hour-to-hour and day-to-day basis. Our destiny is to live the lives we have been given, to navigate our suffering, but also to to take a stand against it. Likewise, our fate is inescapable, but only to the degree that events will unfold as they will, but the attitude we take to those events is determined solely by us.

Our wellbeing is measured at the intersection of destiny, fate, and the human response. Turning a dreadful situation into a human achievement is the power we retain, and to use it fully gives us a different perspective on life and how we live it.

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